11:10 a.m. - 2005-11-22
Sometimes I can be petty
On the road: Five count 'em - FIVE hard hats on two different highways in two different states over 30 miles of commuting. What is up with that? Two green, one white, one orange.
In my head: Congestion. Lots of it. I once again have one of those colds that does not allow me to sit or lie down for more than 30 seconds without closing everything in my head up - I cannot breath at all, not even a teensy bit o'air. So I've been up for most of the last two nights, and am starting to get loopy.
In my stomach: A lovely post-birthday home-cooked dinner from spouse last night: Appetizers: some kind of pate on wonderful crackers that were like unsweetened ice cream cones; lobster bisque (from the natural foods store...); Lamb chops with garlic and rosemary, asparagas, sweet potato fries and vanilla poundcake with fig jam. (we have this fig thing going on between us.)
Then rush off to cub scouts WITHOUT MY cub scout because he was still sick. It was skit night, and the boys had a great time. I missed my little guy.
In my heart: Sadness and fury - last week I was supposed to meet a friend to go to a scrapbook/open house thingy. I was also having dinner with spouse because we had six thousand cub-scout related things to do, so I was able to do the scrap book thing in between. We had set a time. My friend knew I was having dinner and would have to rush to make the time we had set to meet. I was also giving her some things her kids had left at my house when we had a sleepover. We were supposed to meet at 7:15. I rushed through dinner and made it on time. Then I waited for 40 minutes until she arrived. Did I mention that she did this a few weeks ago when we were all going to have dinner so I could take her kids (at her request) for the sleepover? That time we waited 45 minutes. She didn't leave a message. She didn't try the cell phone. She didn't leave a message on my home phone. I was angry and let the little voice in my head tell me that she didn't value me as a friend. So when I called after 20 minutes of waiting with spouse, and now becoming late for the other two cub scout drop offs, I spoke with her husband and was told that he was a bit late getting home from work, and she had just left. I checked my cell phone to see if she had perhaps called to warn me.
When she finally got there I said calmly that I was surprised she did not try to reach me on the cell or get a message to me that she was going to be late. I didn't even point out that this was not five or ten minutes late, but nearly three quarters of an hour late. Her response? "Oh. I don't have your number on my cell phone." That was also her response a few weeks ago when she was late meeting us for dinner. So I wrote down my cell number on an envelope and gave it to her. I said that when she doesn't call to let me know she is going to be late, it hurts my feelings, because I feel like I'm not important enough to be notified. That I rushed through dinner to meet her. I didn't point out that she had used this excuse before. I didn't yell. I felt I just stated my case. (Yes, I am back in junior high school...) For me, it was a big thing - I usually just fume silently when I feel "dissed." Then I let it ferment and get even more stinky and ugly in my heart. But I said it, and then we spent five minutes giving her the kids' things and talking about the weekend, and I had to go. I kept wanting to call her that night and apologize. Half of my tiny brain said "Oh just smoothe things over; and the other half said WHAT ARE YOU? A MORON?" So we were scheduled to do some holiday shopping next week at some stores she likes, and I emailed to confirm because I have to put in for a vacation day. But - here's a big surprise...something has come up at her daughter's pre school. OOOOOOOKay.
I've been there for this friend. I've taken crap from this friend; and there was talk a few months ago that I would be guardian for this friend's kids. But I'm not allowed to say that I do not like to be mistreated. Got it.
Okay, let's get out all that pre holiday vinegar.
On other fronts: Andy is better and went to school today. I convinced myself last night that he might be getting scarlet fever because when I got home from the cub scout meeting, his checks were really, really red. I panicked for about five minutes until I watched him blow his nose with paper towels. His cheeks were chapped from the harsh paper.
On the work front: Nothing still.
On the cooking front: Here's what I'm going to make for Thanksgiving - I'm in charge of vegetables and desserts:
1. Greenbeans with tarragon and pecans
2. Asparagas with butter and lemon OR Brussels sprouts with pancetta
3. Pecan Pie (NOW I have pecans...)
4. Mini chocolate bundt cakes
5. Mini pumpkin cheesecakes with gingersnap crusts.
a hui hou marama
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