11:45 a.m. - 2005-05-17
May can be so complicated
Andy has been particularly anxious lately. He wants to know where we are in the house. He called on the cell when we were out with friends Saturday night around 10, and wanted to tell us that he missed us. He called his father Saturday afternoon as we left church (spouse didn't come) to make sure that he was home and okay.
I'm not sure if it is a developmental thing - that he loves us, but realizes that he needs help taking care of life; or that he is sad about something. I remember my first real bout with depression was right after my first communion. I had been the center of attention for a week, and got presents and looked pretty, and then it all stopped. I don't think that is it with Andy, though he does get a bit blue after large family gatherings and wants to have more people around him. I wonder too if pollen or something in the spring air makes us anxious, because I have also been feeling worried about nothing in particular. Of course, I get to attribute that to peri-menopause. And my wierd temperment.
I am trying not to make a big deal out of it for both of us, and trying to balance it with giving him what he needs without smothering him or creating a drama where none may exist. We had a fatal fire in our small town late last week, and Andy was worried about fires for a few days; then he saw a teaser for contaminated ice bins at restaurants, and was worried spouse and I would get sick when we went out to eat Saturday night. I just don't know.
We're 24 hours into WW. I feel cleaner, though I still want a hershey bar or something. Last night we had baked brown rice (takes an hour, but is worth it - light, fluffy, tasty) baked blue fish and baked broccoli with cheese and garlic. I made a double batch of the rice and I'll use it to make stuffed peppers for later in the week. Tonight is the thai chicken burgers and asian slaw again.
I also made the zucchini stew, so spouse and I have that to supplement lunch. I'm kind of hungry, but have ignored the "honor snacks" in the next conference room.
I remembered why May perplexes me - my favorite TV shows wind down - this time Survivors and CSI. I watched the last half hour of Raymond, and can I just say that the show still is annoying? Not to copy %%Uncle Bob%% but I watched the show sporadically, and felt the need to watch the series finale, but I just found him not lovable. Also watched two and a half men, which I usually like, but I don't think that was the season finale. Hmmmm.
Busy at work - I have a new employee which is taking up large chunks of the day. I also have two projects to finish and cub scouts tonight. That's what it is all about.
a hui hou marama
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