4:15 p.m. - 2011-02-08
Cost me to keep me quiet
I had a great epiphany last night. I was thinking how when I confront one of my parents about some behavior that bothers me, I get the reply "I'm doing the best I can." But when I am critiqued, I am not permitted to say the same thing. Right now, I am sorting through this wondering if it is a familial trait, or something that all parents do to their children - not accepting what is, but what could be - as if as a parent, we might not be doing our job to just accept what are children are? Am I cutting my mother slack because I will need to cut myself slack as Andy gets older? I just don't know yet.
We got more snow/slush today, but not too bad. The sun is actually out, and I love that it isn't always dark when I leave for work now.
Here is what I am nervous about: My MRI. That is tomorrow. I don't like the procedure itself, I don't want to have to be still with my boobs hanging down for an hour, and I want to know the results right away. I don't think that is asking too much.
But I will wait, and then maybe at the end of the week, nag my doctor to tell me, and when she doesn't call me back right away convince myself that the cancer is back.
I'm not sure if I wrote about the amazing dance performances I saw on Friday night. There were two or three really, amazingly talented dancers, and there were two pieces which brought me to tears, and several which made me laugh. I may have to go out and buy Immogen Heap's CD that has "Ah Ha" on it...cost you to keep me quiet...cost you to keep me quiet...I've been singing that all weekend.
And for now, that's what I got.
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