12:31 p.m. - 2010-02-01
Away from me
It was kind of a daunting weekend. We got a bunch of errands done on Friday, though the check book is still a bit of an enigma; and when I got home, I checked my work email to find out there were several virtual fires smouldering in my absence. So I spent a fair amount of time working on them, and around 7 p.m. we had spouse-made pizza. Andy ate half the pie, spouse had two pieces and I ate one (mostly because I was still full from lunch of salad and eggplant panini.) I started some of the wash and did some of the washing machine research, and also paid more bills, but despite the fact that we still have lots of blank checks, we are just about out of money until mid-month when I get paid.
Saturday morning I took Andy to sax lessons and we stopped to pick up our new traditional meatball pizza from a little Italian market we pass on the way home from the lesson. I started to clean off the dining room table and change the sheets in the guest room; then we went to church and came back and made dinner, and then I watched the anachronistic "Miss America Pageant." I pegged the winner in the first 10 minutes. It pains me though that there were not deeper aspirations for careers amongst the contestants. Nonetheless, I watched the entire thing and recognized how much it had changed in significance and production over my life time.
Here is the other thing that happened on Saturday: Andy was invited to his girlfriend's house for Sunday afternoon. We talked in the car about it on the way to lessons, and he was kind of snarky. I asked if he wanted to invite (I'll call her Marney) Marney over for dinner some time, and he said "Well, we'd have to clean up alot of crap in the house."
Ahem.
This hit me right between the eyes - not so much because our house does not look like a magazine, but because I already felt like our life was being compared to his life away from us. Or that we were being judged by him and found wanting. I did not say anything for awhile. Andy played with his mp3 and texted back and forth, and then realized I hadn't said anything. I wasn't making a point of it, I was just driving and trying to keep from weeping.
So after his lesson I explained that what he had said hurt my feelings because I felt he was a bit ashamed of our house and our housekeeping. And I also explained that I was emotional about this too because this was for me a clear sign that he was beginning his journey away from us, and that was a GOOD THING, and something he is supposed to do, to learn how to let other people into your life to make a family beyond your parents and siblings. And I also let him know that I was probably leaking emotionally because I held it together over the last several months, so maybe I was just letting some of it out now.
But it still bruises me a bit. I am no longer the most important person in his life. And I GET that I'm not supposed to be forever. But it still brings me to my knees.
He apologized, and I reassured him that I understood how he felt, and he was doing all the things he should be doing (except for being snarky.)
I called Marney's parents Saturday, confirming their (what do I call this? something more than a play date, but something less than a date?) event. She was very nice, I told her we'd be dropping Andy off and introducing ourselves in person, and that we'd pick him up at the appointed time.
Sunday I finished the dining room table, finished the laundry, and invited our neighbors over for an impromptu dinner of fajitas, tacos, salad and Spanish rice, and a giandjua cake my sister sent me.
Then we took Andy to meet Marney's parents.
I'd suggested to Andy on Saturday that he bring something to Marney's mother. That it was our family rule that you never go to someone's house empty handed. I suggested daffodils (they are on sale, and they are one of my favorite flowers), but he settled on Oreos. It still makes me laugh.
So we drove the 30 minutes to Marney's house, met her very lovely parents (also older parents, and very nice.) We exchanged phone numbers, and they told us what the kids would be doing (playing in the downstairs music studio, making pizzas.)
And that was that. And we went home where I finished making salsa and guacamole. Spouse left around 5:30 to get Andy, and our neighbors came for dinner around 6:30. It was tasty.
Today is another crazy day at work, and it will likely be this way until I go to Florida.
And for now, that's all I got.
|
