10:34 a.m. - 2010-01-29
Or pot roast
Surly little Friday dance. Spouse (who is supposed to help balance the check book) has
1. lost one of the registers
2. can't figure out why we are in arrears. WE ARE NOT! I have been exceedingly careful and some how there are two stray deposits, ut the computer says that is because we are overdrawn. I just don't get it...
So he is off to try and find the registers and also meet with the bank people to figure out what the hell is going on with the deposits.
I took a personal day today because I have all these niggling little things I have to take care of (bills, returning stuff, research a washing machine, etc.) and I thought it would be fun to then have lunch with spouse.
We'll see.
My sister is angry with my mother. My mother has done this thing where she tells us how much pain she is in about my brother's and my cancer diagnosis by saying how grateful we must be to know that our children are okay.
I was able to ignore it on the two or three times she said it over the holidays to me, that at least I was comforted that it was "ME" who was diagnosed, and well I cannot even finish this sentence.
When she said it to my sister, my sister just lost it.
I GET my mother's pain. I am sick with my mother's pain and knowing that I caused it. And I don't know if I would be able to hold it together if my child was sick, but I tell myself that I would try to do what I could with my pain to make sure it didn't cause anyone else pain.
I talked with my sister for a long time last night and let her cry it out. She has been so strong. And when she talked about my mother she used the very messy example of "you don't have to put your arm up a cow's ass to know you've got a steak" so now we have a new shorthand if a family member is making us nuts. It's just "steak."
Spouse just found the register.
I just don't want to be undermined when I'm doing all I can to keep our heads above water (on so many levels.)
It is a bright but frigid day today - the high is only supposed to be getting up to 12 or 15, but at least we don't have the ice.
This weekend? Not too much - sax lessons, errands and looking for a washing machine - that may postpone our weekly festival of laundry.
And for now, that's all I got.
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