7:32 a.m. - 2009-11-06
And waiting
Thank you for your comments, emails and notes. They mean so much to me. I still haven't talked with my brother yet, he slept most of yesterday after getting home from his surgery. I spoke with my mother again at 4 yesterday, and they are trying to be strong for us at least until we know what is happening.
This is worse for me than my own diagnosis. I have done alot of crying and praying. I am so worried for him.
I don't know why this feels so much worse.
Of course, I've run through every scenario for him - will his wife have to quit her job to take care of him? Will he be able to keep working? Will he have to have chemo and radiation?
I've found some specialists in my area, including one of the best lymphoma specialists in the country. It is so ironic, I had to work last night and the speaker was head of a health care system who said Americans are always looking for the top specialist. Yes, I am.
I hope to speak to my brother and my SIL today, and to my folks, but I'm afraid to call too early.
We'll know much more on Monday. This is another long weekend of waiting.
Please, please, please God, let it be nothing.
And I have to continue with my life and day-to-day stuff. Andy went back to school this morning, but still said he didn't feel well. He hasn't had a fever for two days, and he was pretty perky yesterday when I came home to check on him.
I have been sick for a few days again. Low fever, cough, stuffy nose. I'm sure that is also affecting the way I am processing all this information.
Thank you again for your support. It helps so much.
And for now, that's all I got.
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