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10:25 a.m. - 2009-08-26
Well now I have the title down

Andy and spouse brought me sushi for lunch yesterday, it was nice having a visit with them in the middle of the day. I had meetings, I got stuff done, came home and spouse had made done of the dream dinners - cod with a nice zingy sauce, sweet potato fries and roasted zucchini. It is so much more delicious when I don't have to cook it myself! Spouse and Andy went to karate, I went through the mail, fell asleep, and then my SIL called for some advice, and my neighborfriend whose daughter is getting her tonsils out today called, and I took an unexpected trip to the craft store which was great, because then I could pick up a little craft gift for the girl getting her tonsils out. It was a nice visit/trip, but I didn't burden my friend with talking about my lump and worries. Maybe that will be the title of my autobiography - lump and worries. Anyway, I figured I'd wait until her daughter (who is Andy's age) gets through the tonsillectomy and then I could lean on her a little. I also haven't told my sister or certainly not my parents. It occurs to me how reluctant I've become about leaning on someone.

Even spouse - who I thought I was leaning on, seems a bit clueless. He didn't put all of the pieces of information together, and since I cannot make myself say the words that are hiding behind my brain, it didn't occur to him until later last night that maybe this IS a serious thing. But did I set that up?

Why am I not telling my parents? Well the first answer is that I don't want to get the drama queen lecture; and then I don't want to get the "we bring these health things on ourselves" lecture. Those are usually my mother's initial responses. And given that she had seemed fragile last year, I just don't know if it is worth it, but it feels like a punishment for both of us. She doesn't get to know, I don't get to tell. I also have not said anything to Andy.

So. Maybe. Everything will be nothing, which is what I suspect.

I am sad about the passing of Sen. Kennedy, and yes I remember Chappaquiddick. I met him in the 1980s when I was a reporter, and interviewed him and his mother Rose, who was campaigning with him during his Presidential bid. At the time, he was mostly facade, though I do admire and respect what he has accomplished since. He also reminds me a bit of my father - I think they come from the same gene pool. Have I written about my theory that I think there are only about 7 gene pools, and I play this internal game where I assign people to the gene pool I think they came from? It has nothing to do with race, but is all about body, face and teeth structure and is based on no scientific fact other than my own tiny brain.

Today is more writing and a couple of meetings. Tonight is buffalo chicken and salad.

And for now, that's all I got.

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