9:02 a.m. - 2008-05-28
Here is the short version of it all
I'm still kinda disoriented this week - long weekend, doctors appointment, wierd weather. But I'm doing okay. I did get a renewed prescription for birth control - I expected my OB/GYN was going to take me off of it because a) I am old; and b) my BP has been running a bit high. But she gave me 3 months and asked me to come in and get checked again. Mental-pause is just around the corner she thinks, and the pills help with my risk for ovarian cancer. Whoda thunk.
Had another lazy night. I was supposed to grill those damn burgers, but it was thundering and lightening outside (is that the correct use of those words? Did I "verbiate" them?) Anyway, we ate leftovers and will have the dogs and tube steaks tonight. It is absolutely gorgeous out today - dry, sunny. Yesterday was hot and humid and I had a hard time sleeping, and then opened the anxiety closet and pondered death and eternity. I don't so much worry about my own death, I worry about the death of others (which is also selfish, because I mostly worry about how I would feel if people were gone from my life.) Last night after I crawled into bed, Andy was stil awake, and came up to cuddle. It was such a perfect moment. I was so happy for a moment, and then all I could think of is how I will feel when he stops wanting to cuddle. I seem to be all about the worrying about how it will feel when good things stop, not enjoying how it feels when it feels good. And there you have the essense of Pattypat.
Tonight I am supposed to do the dream dinners thing, which I rescheduled from last week because the neighbor I am taking had to work. Except I found out that tonight is Andy's first "Court of Honor" at boy scouts and he is probably being promoted to tenderfoot, or something like that and I am feeling incredibly guilty because I am missing this scout moment. Andy is perfectly fine with it, and we'll hang out together when he comes home. But still.
My folks' phone is still broken. It is supposed to be fixed today. And for now, that's all I got.
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