10:24 a.m. - 2007-04-09
Easter ham and eggs
We had a lovely Easter weekend. On Friday, my mother would still not leave the house, so I did the grocery shopping and errands by myself. My neighbor had to work at home and asked if I could watch her daughter (she and Andy get along famously, so they entertained themselves for several hours and we fed them lunch, and they went back to playing.) Anyway, I made a seafood stew for dinner on Friday - tomatoes, garlic, basil, parsley, white wine, mussels, clams and shrimp. I served it with toasted rosemary bread that I rubbed raw garlic on. It was very delicious.
I also made my Nana's macaroni and cheese (spaghetti, American orange cheese, onions, canned tomatoes, salt and pepper - layered and baked - oh yum) so that it would be done for Saturday's dinner. My mother spent most of the day playing her soduko book. She says it is her meditation.
I am having such a hard time with this. On the one hand, I want to support her, help her feel well, give her the kind of support she needs. On the other hand, I am a hateful, person with a grudge, remembering when I asked for help because I was so afraid and depressed and was told to stop being a drama queen. When I was told I bring on my own problems, including things that required surgery. I hear those words echoing in my ear and I want to scream about a double standard. I want to yell out that I was the child, and she was the mother.
But I say nothing.
On Friday afternoon, my mother did say that she had talked to her therapist the week before and apologized for taking advantage of me when I was a kid - that I had the responsibility of taking care of my siblings and the house and the cooking. My mother hardly goes for more than a year or two without some crisis - emotional or health-wise, so I had to pick up the slack. Then she said I was too hard on myself. I just don't know what to do with that.
Okay - back to the play-by-play. Saturday afternoon, my brother, his wife and kids came and we had a mini-birthday celebration for Andy - Ham, salad, roasted veggies, Nana's mac and cheese, and home-made chocolate birthday cake. It was pretty yummy.
My parents left with my brother after dinner, and spouse and I went to work on Easter prep. I made spouse's and Andy's baskets and hid them, cleaned up after dinner, and got things ready for Sunday's egg hunt and brunch. Then my neighbor called and asked for help stuffing the plastic eggs. (We did 400 of them!)
Each year my neighbor hosts an egg hunt in her yard, and each year I am responsible for bacon, so this year we had four pounds of it - I swear I still smell it - I went for a walk and several dogs followed me. I also baked my neighbor's ham for her, so I am especially piggy smelling.
The egg hunt was fun - there were 11 kids. After the hunt, we went to my brother's house for dinner - marinated leg of lamb on the grill, (I brought asparagas with lemon and butter and home-made bread), oven roasted potatoes and pies. We headed home around 7, threw Andy into the tub, finished washing more bacon dishes, and went to sleep. And now I am back at work. My parents return to us tomorrow night so we can take them to the airport on Wednesday.
And that's all I got for now. Except bacon if you want some.
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