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8:56 a.m. - 2007-01-23
What we choose to keep
I had the worst headache yesterday, like someone was pushing my eyes out with their thumbs. I tried water - thinking I was dehydrated, but that didn't help. I left work at the end of the day, picked up Andy, took him to the library to look for books for his two upcoming projects (and we also found a book on guinea pigs); then to the drug store for his allergy medicine; then to the soup store for his dinner, and I came home and fell asleep as he was eating. Spouse had to work last night, so he didn't get home until 9:30. I got Andy squared away for school, backpack packed, lunch money, snack, snow pants, extra socks, etc, and tucked Andy in for the night. Folded two loads of laundry and just as I was diving under the covers, spouse came in. I was glad he was home safe because it was snowing a bit and the roads were beginning to ice up.

I usually love the show "tw0 and a h@lf men" but I have to say it went over the line for me last night.

Oh, and a neighbor dropped by last night with her daughter. She was exhausted too. I can barely hold my head up today, but it is a long day at work. Tonight, bed, bed, bed.

I realized this weekend that it had been a long time since I really felt cold, and appreciated my down jacket. I look a bit like the michelin man in it, but it keeps me warm. I also realized this morning that I hadn't heard that crunching snow sound for a long time either - we got about an inch last night - merely cosmetic, but the crunching sound under the tires was satisfying.

My mother is back from her cruise with my sister, and they had a good time. But my mother is still having the same health issues - she has tests scheduled around other cruises coming up in the next few weeks. The doctor doesn't seem worried, and this happened to her once or twice before, so we'll see what the test results show. I'm trying not to freak out about it.

I had another revelation, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to sort it all out without sounding like a jerk, but it is something I have to think about.

This weekend, my ohio friend called and we spoke for about three hours. She is the one who lost her partner suddenly last year to liver cancer, and I went down to help her out last May.

She was talking about other friends, and how she felt our relationship was incredibly strong and rich, and that we had recovered from our troubles between each other. I had forgotten about the trouble - it was just before I got married, and she sort of disappeared from my life when I would have liked her there. She had no real explanation at the time. But the thing was - I had forgotten about it.

How come I don't forget when my mother does something that upsets me, or when spouse does something to piss me off? How come I insist on carrying those hurts around in a duffle bag and taking them out and showing them to people, and trying them on again when I am alone? Why do I choose to keep those, but completely forgot about the rift between my friend and me. I remember it now, but it hadn't entered my mind in at least a decade.

I have to think about that.

Okay - that's all I got.

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