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9:28 a.m. - 2006-02-07
If grey made a sound, what would it be?

Unlike yesterday, today will likely be a one-entry day.

I am recovering. I always do. I''m fine. I'm fine. I'm freaking fine.

I emailed some friends in the business and told them I was back in the saddle again and looking for opportunities to network. I'm still waiting for clarification from my place of employment and its many, many departments of HR to tell me exactly where I have to file for unemployment.

I think my plan will be (if we get the contract) to continue working part time. At least it is a job. And they say it is easier to find a job when you have one.

I'm not sure if I'm done crying, but it seems to have tapered off. I just didn't want to realize that the work I do is apparently not valued enough, and of course I turn that into a personal thing. Wasn't I good enough? Didn't I work hard enough? Wasn't I valued?

Intellectually I know I am really good at what I do. What I also know, and that my mother reminded me (not to be cruel I don't think) is that I do not always play the politics as well as I think I do, and that the world pretty much undervalues middle-aged, over-weight women. Oh wait. That's me isn't it.

So I applied for three jobs last night. All in not-for-profit. We'll see. I just want to be done with the whole thing - the search, the waiting, the interviews slowly coming and scheduled, the decisions, and the whole getting used to a new job. Don't I sound ungrateful? Don't I sound like a lump who doesn't want to try new things? Oh wait. That's me too right now. I believe I've used up my adventure allotment for now.

a hui hou marama

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