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11:43 a.m. - 2004-04-20
Wish, wish, wish
I'm thinking of changing my profile. First of all, I no longer work for a university, but some day maybe I will. Second of all - several of the diarists I list as my faves are no longer writing or updating or whatever. I've discovered many new diaries that I adore: Dysfunction Junction, Mom on the Roof, WendyLoo, Chaos Daily and others. I think the proper etiquette is to email them and ask permission???

I have a "wicked" sore throat today. Not sure if I'm getting a cold or allergies. Less than a week and a half until spouse's drs. appointment and then who knows how long until he gets the referral to get the tests. I keep praying.

It was a fabulous weather day yesterday (unless you were running the marathon.) It was high 80s, which is actually a bit hotter than I'd prefer, but it was nice not to wear so many clothes. But boy, do I have a date with a salt scrub this week! Sorry - too much information I suppose. Met the neigh bor ladies by the mailbox and we all had a box of popsicles I brought out. We need grown-up flavors of popsicles I think.

I really hope someone at least calls for some interviews this week. Is that too much to ask?

My mother has been silent for several days. She was quite rushed on Friday when we called to tell her Andy's great Pinewood Derby news. She ASKED us to call her, but didn't really want to talk. She and my father watched my sister's kids for a week (at their suggestion.) I'm guessing she's tired, but she usually calls on the weekend, or I usually call her, and truth be told, I didn't call because I didn't want her to tell me whatever it is I'm doing wrong, or what I SHOULD be doing. It is just a little more pressure than I can cope with at the moment. I just want someone to reassure me that I'm not a total ass, that I'm not someone who made it this far by happenstance, that I am someone who is kind and funny and smart. But it doesn't come from her any more. Something is definitely broken, but I don't seem to have the psychic energy to fight for it at the moment. I wish someone would fight for me. I wish she would fight for me.

Yesterday Andy and I went for another walk. I made really fabulous cod on the grill with zucchini and an olive/garlic sauce. Served it with tabbouleh, quite tasty and healthy. Today I just need chicken soup. And popsicles.

And a decent job.

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