Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

9:15 a.m. - 2007-08-30
The melancholy
Oi the melancholy today. It is all mine. Everyone else is quite cheerful. I know I do this, but it doesn't make me feel any better. Today I wept on the way to work because in 7 short years, Andy will be going off to college, and my world will change again. I like it this way. I like being Andy's mommy, and taking care of him and cuddling him and being able to soothe any possible hurt he could have. But I see even that changing as he moves further into the world.

And I want to make him stronger than I am. I don't want him to be dependent on his parents for his happiness, even though he asked last night if he could live with us even when he is 40.

So I know I will make the next few days difficult for myself. I am mourning the loss of my Fridays at home. I LOVED my Fridays at home. I did without them for nearly two years, so I know I can do it, but I want them back NOW! And I feel sorry for myself because I have to work Saturday and Sunday and Monday this weekend because the students are moving back.

So there's that.

And I have the mother guilt. What else can I trot out? The irrational fear that spouse will be hurt in a car accident; my own health; my parents' health; my siblings happiness; terrorist attacks; a stroke. Have I missed anything?

Well for now, that's all I got.

previous - next

|

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!