9:23 a.m. - 2006-08-18
Two offers, one decision
It has been a crazy 24-hours. Yesterday morning spouse, Andy and I drove into the city and I had my interviews. I met with the dean. I met with the president. I couldn't tell if I did well, since I expressed an opinion that differed from that of one of the interviewers, but I was polite and it was in the realm of my profession.
We went to lunch. I obsessed. On the way home, the phone rang. They made an offer of 15,000 more than the other job. I was initially ecstatic, but after I hung up the phone, I recognized that I was at a crossroads.
This job in the city was my dream job. It paid well (though much of that would be eaten up with commuting and parking costs - gas, tolls, parking fees...) It was a job as my spouse said that was "in the show." It was prestigious. The staff was great and friendly. I would have a great title, it had a modicum of glamor. And when I thought of taking it, all I could focus on was the hours of commuting time that I would be away from Andy and spouse, and there were alot night and weekend events. When I explained that to my husband he said "oh don't worry about that, we'll all pitch in and there will be other time with Andy when he is older" and that is when I burst into tears because there is no getting back this time, and I have had too many reminders of how fleeting time is, how precarious life is, how quickly things can change.
So I realized I had already made my decision for the other job. The one that paid fifteen thousand dollars less. The one that didn't have a glorious title or staff. The one that was more mundane. The one that was a bit closer to home and didn't seem to have alot of night and weekend events. I don't mean to be unfair - it is certainly a worthwhile cause (yes, I'm still in the not-for-profit sector) and in the scheme of things, I recognize that while I always want to feel fulfilled in my work, it is generally a means to finance my real life with my family.
So I cried some more at my "sacrifice." I knew I was making the decision for the right reasons, but I question whether I'll ever get another offer like the glam job again. This is the window for retirement savings and the glam job would have enabled me to do alot of that quickly.
And after crying about it with spouse, and crying about it with my mother and crying about it with my friend, it came to me. I could ask for something from this job, and I did. I asked for a compressed work week - working five days of hours in four days. That made me stop crying. That made my stomach hurt, and I knew that that wasn't something that would be feasible for the glam job. So I made the call, and asked for it. And I got it. And now I feel better. And soon I will stop writing in sentence fragments.
And then everything that was askew realligned. I had to make the call to the glam job this morning and did so early. They asked if more money would change my mind and I explained that it was about family work balance, and he understood. He asked if I was available for freelance work which was very nice of him. He said again how disappointed he was and how disappointed everyone would be because they all thought I was amazing. I thanked him again and told him I appreciated learning more about the organization. And that was that. He said he would call next week and I made no comment, but I doubt he will.
And that is that.
And then I had my freelance projects conference call this morning where I thought the manager was going to rip me a new one based on an email he sent on Wednesday, but instead he loved the work so far, so there's that too. And now, less than 24 hours later from the time I thought I would not be able to get over this hump, I am luxuriating in this hour and giving myself the rest of the day to not work on work or think about jobs. (Just clean, make appointments, do laundry...)
And you know what it's time to do?
The happy, happy Friday dance.
A hui hu marama
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