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3:39 p.m. - 2006-06-25
Had to get this out of my brain
It is Sunday, and I am back from Cleveland. I am so glad to be home. This was a hard trip. My friend is so sad and afraid. I got in about 11 Wednesday morning and she picked me up at the airport and cried all the way back to the town where she lives. We stopped to get a sandwich, and she went over all the stories about her husband's passing. We knew he was sick, but thought he had a few more years, even more if he had a liver transplant, but then, just before the holidays in December, he crashed. And two weeks later he was dead - many trips to the ER and the hospital and then two days in hospice and he was gone. I felt like she was holding on to this - to tell someone. She seemed less emotionally swollen somehow after she told it. And then we ate our sandwiches and went to her house.

We made a list of all the things she wanted help with - setting up the computer so she could access Internet, setting up voice mail, getting the right Internet accounts, etc., cleaning out her husband's business files, clothes, peculiar electronic equipment, old mail...taking the cat (who she thought was dying) to the vet; finding paperwork in the house, filling out registration forms to finish her graduate studies...

We went grocery shopping in the afternoon. She had nothing in her fridge except water, mustard (why do people ALWAYS have mustard?) and this sad little cheeseball. It made me cry to see the cheese, I don't know why. I guess because it is kind of a party thing. She said she bought it because she thought it might make her invite people over. So we shopped, and I cooked and filled her empty freezer. I wanted her to have things in there that let her know that people love and care for her, and want her to come home and have something homey and decent for dinner. I know I did this for me really - I made asian meatloaves, mexican lasagna, chicken stir fries, ziti with chicken, broccoli, mushrooms and cheese; stuffed peppers, pasta sauce and some brownies. She should be set for several weeks. If she eats.

Thursday we tackled the paperwork things and set up the phone and 'Internet accounts. She panicked a bit when she couldn't find the paperwork, but I said we could just call customer service and she kind of lost it. She got stuck on finding that paperwork. I was afraid maybe I wasn't doing what she needed, but we got through it and she was glad. She said she keeps getting stuck on things that hold her back. Then we did the clothes. That was the hardest part I think - finding little scribbled notes, and smelling him and remembering what he must have been doing when he wore those things last. But when we were done and done crying, she was so relieved. We schlepped it to a charity and that was that. Then to the vet who thought the cat might have diabetes, Feline AIDS or a thyroid problem. My friend was devastated at losing the cat, but didn't want to deal with lots of meds/needles, procedures, etc. So we waited a few hours for blood tests, and it is likely a thyroid problem which means a pill a day. Very manageable.

Friday, more of the same, a little more cooking, and then we ventured into Cleveland proper late in the afternoon. What a nice city - lots of museums and galleries (not even including the R&R hall o'fame.) Lovely botanical gardens. We did a drive-by sight seeing trip which was fine with me because we were pretty tired at that point. Came home, made home-made pizza and had a "virtual" pizza dinner with spouse and Andy.

Did I already say that all the time I was there we had horrific thunder storms and rain and tornadoes? We were fine, but very soggy, and the tornadoes were about 8 miles away. Friday evening it cleared up so I walked to Lake Eerie's edge and watched the sun set. It went so fast.

Got up at 4 Saturday morning to make it to the plane, and flew home. I am so happy to be here. My brother called with a last minute birthday party invite for my niece. They were supposed to be away, but the weather kept them home. Now it is raining here - I think the storm system that flooded Ohio is here in New England. So we schlepped an hour up to their part of the world and had dinner at the R@in F0rest C@fe. One word. HATE. With the fierce hate of a thousand Sean Penns. (thank you Jane.)

It was loud, overpriced and full of children whose parents had given up on parenting several years ago.

And I'm running out of steam, but keeping my lessons from this past week- cherish what you have. Unless it is an invitation to the cafe.

A hui hou marama

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