12:37 p.m. - 2005-07-26
Trying to get iced
I have these moments throughout my life, where I feel like I'm floating in a sea of ennui or despair or confusion or depression, and I manage to get myself up a bit, up on an ice drift or something, and it either gives me hope to paddle back to shore, or I get knocked down and run over by an ocean liner. I'm not sure what is happening now. I was on my little ice-flow yesterday - Andy was feeling better - I was taking control of my professional life, I lost 2 and a half pounds at weight watchers, and my mother and I had a nice morning chat and she said she and my dad were doing better (they were really grouchy at each other on the vacation...) so things were going well.
And then, I spoke with my mother in the afternoon, and she said she wasn't feeling well, that she had been experiencing some pain on her left side in her belly. So she's going to the doctor for tests today - she thinks it is apendicitus. I am worried and praying for her. She is prone to blood clots and after that scare last Thanksgiving, I think she might be worried that it is cancer. She has had no fever, but she has some pain and nausea. I just don't know.
My medical friends always tell me - when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras. So maybe it is just a virus.
I am also panicked because our after school day care program INSISTS that I did not register Andy for the fall (I did!) and now has no record, so he is on the waiting list. I am ready to keel over.
I hear Dori the blue fish in my brain "just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
a hui hou marama
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