4:02 p.m. - 2004-08-23
Tornado
We had a tornado in our town this weekend. On Saturday, after I took And to his karate class and took him and his friends to lunch and to the warehouse store, we came home. At 3 p.m. the sky was like night, it got dark so quickly, and the rain was so loud and long. I have a recurring nightmare about being in a tornado. I have been near two of them- once while a child in New England, and once while driving to a conference in flat old central Floradora. My parents were hit by one just about a year ago - not hurt, but lots of property damage. So I was surprised that I did not let myself think that this is what it could be. I put on the television to see if there were storm warnings - there were not, so I assured myself that all was well. About an hour later, a friend who was travelling called to say she had heard on her radio that there were tornadoes in our town and asked if everything was alright - I told her "oh, don't worry - it must be a false report because there's nothing on TV about it." If it isn't on TV it isn't happening you know.
Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt, though there are a dozen less old trees in town, and one fewer garage.
So here is what I've been thinking about: My mother and I were talking about child rearing and I was saying (unsarcastically) that I didn't remember so many families having these child-centered practices, where everything was around the child, and that I certainly didn't feel we were raised that way. Not that we weren't loved and cared for, but there were kid things and there were grown up things, and life wasn't fair, and for a while, grown-ups knew best so you were expected to do what you were told, bear some responsibility for your actions, and wait until you got older to have more control over your life. Now, I hear kids making demands on parents and GETTING WHAT THEY WANT INSTANTLY! And the parents explaining to the nth detail about why something is or isn't going to happen, and then changing their minds at the very last minute to appease the child.
I am not particularly a disciplinarian, but when I tell Andy or ask him politely to do something, he does it. He knows that is what I expect of him. And I expect him not to be loud or rambunctious in a public place just because he can be, and to put up with "boredom" and find something to entertain himself.
When I was growing up (harumph, pound the table) you couldn't wait to be a grown up and be master of your own destiny, because the grown-ups appeared to do what they wanted to do and had control over most situations. Now, it seems the kids have control, and everyone wants to stay a kid or act like a kid and have no responsibility (even the grown ups.) How did that change? Guilt from working parents? I have to figure this out.
My parents are watching Andy this week and have returned from four days at my brother's. FIL sees the doctor again on Wednesday. I have less than two weeks to pull off a major project. I hope I can do it.
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