10:10 a.m. - 2004-04-05
Today is Andy's birthday!
Today is Andy's 7th birthday. My wonderful, beautiful, funny, smart boy was born 7 years ago today, after many failed pregnancies and technologies; and three days in the hospital (during an enormous blizzard) attempting to induce labor. He refused to budge. They sent us home. We were supposed to go back four days later, but three days later I awoke with a fever, feeling very sick and not feeling him move much. I almost didn't call the doctor since I'd be seeing her the next day, but something kept nagging at me, so we called, drove to the hospital, and they c-sectioned him out a few minutes later. We were both pretty sick. I had sepsis, and he had an infection. I did not know that two new mothers had died of sepsis at this hospital the month before. My Andy was pretty weak when he was born even though he was large - 8 lbs, 9 oz. They whisked him off, I almost didn't get to hold him, so perfect and soft, but so quiet, except spouse asked if I could hold him for a moment before they took him away. Spouse never got to cut the cord, we never got those cute newborn pictures at the hospital. Then the doctors were around me, and I remember only bits. I didn't get to see him the first night. I wasn't allowed out of the ICU. The next day I fussed enough to get wheeled to the neonatal intensive care unit so I could see him. He was in a steamy isolet with a very kind, young doctor watching over him. I asked if I could baptise him. (Catholics can do that before an official ceremony, and I was still so afraid for him.) Then we sang to him, and watched all his monitors calm down, his heart rate calmed, his respiration calmed. I had sung to him in the womb (mostly while in the car since my singing voice is horrible) and the doctor said he knew us, that he relaxed with us there. I wept and I baptised him with my tears of happiness. How's that for dramatic? Then they made me go back. For the next three days, every time we saw him, he had some new monitor. Every time we saw a doctor, they had to do some new test on him. He had golden hair and a large round tummy begging me to kiss it, in contrast to the other babies, mostly preemies, who were scrawny and bird-like. He had to have a spinal tap, and other tests I've blocked out of my mind, but the nurses were kind to him and me and let me come in whenever I was allowed to leave ICU. Finally on the fourth day of his life, they said they would let me hold him, but that they would have to weigh his diaper first. I had no idea why and they explained that he had no urine output yet. Four days, and his kidneys still were not working properly. Spouse and I asked what that would mean, and the doctors told us that it could be quite serious if he didn't start peeing in the next few hours. I started to cry, but the nurse said just to wait while she disconnected some of his monitors so I could hold him. She took his tiny diaper and hollered with joy, waking all the other babies and setting off their monitors. The diaper was soaking wet. It had been bone dry a minute earlier. I knew then that my Andy would be fine, and from then on, every time we saw him or the doctors, there was one less monitor, one fewer test, and after a week and a half, they let us come home. And he has been and is our joy since that April 5th. Happy Birthday my sweet potato!
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