8:39 a.m. - 2004-02-13
Falling away
I am supposed to have a "farewell" lunch with my former co-workers today. I am alternatively looking forward to and dreading the event. I miss a few of the people very much, enjoyed many others' company; and the ones I loathed just aren't going to be there. (I'm such a bitch.) But the vestiges of my former work life are dropping away. Keys and ID turned in - the first to go; files; even my memory of certain phone extensions and email addresses for co-workers. I know in my brain that I will recover from this, that in fact I already have begun recovering from this. I know that I will find another job that makes me happy, because I'm extremely good at what I do. What I'm not sure about, and what I still get angry about is that people who don't want things to change, usually men who are older than I am and who have risen to their level of mediocrity, will still get to make decisions about aspects of my life: whether a position or a project is funded; whether they want to make a change that means they will have to change their workload somehow.
Andy is off to school this morning in his red shirt and his red penguin socks with his ziploc bag full of valentines and heart pencils for his classmates. He is so cute, and once again I was hard on him last night when he "forgot" that he had a second book to read, and a third page of homework, and wanted to stop eating his dinner (three, count 'em three bowls of chicken noodle soup from his favorite soup restaurant) so that he could watch TV and then finish dinner and his homework. TV is definitely a motivating force in this boy's life. (ah HAH! A link to me in this boy's personality!) "But MOMMA, why won't you help me trace these shapes?" I am so mean.
I hope he comes back from school with a backpack full of valentines. He will likely have several heart-shaped lollipops and bags of conversation hearts that will hang around our kitchen until Easter and then I will throw them out. Andhy is not a candy eater - just chocolate. (Ah HAH! Another link to me in my boy!) Time to go and job hunt. Do you think the HR person who was supposed to call me YESTER-FREAKIN'-DAY first thing in the morning EVER CALLED? NOPE!
|
